it's 12.24am
and maybe I should just sleep now and get up at 3 to study a bit for tomorrow's quiz
(that's actually not gonna happen for sure)
sebab aku sebenarnya tak nak bangun untuk study at 3am
no

aku nak kembali ke pangkal jalan
maksud aku
sedarkan diri apa tujuan aku datang sini ni
kau datang sini nak ambik diploma kan?
pastu kau buat perangai macam nak mampus ni kenapa ?


idk it's not that I lost interest dalam belajar. rindu kut belajar.
rasa macam dah lama tak ''belajar'' - whilst going to class every single day sampai tak sempat nak bernafas

Juga, I'm trying really hard to distant myself daripada dadah
eh maksud aku, daripada text crush.
crush yang hari-hari aku panjatkan doa berisi caci maki
kesian.

Aku tahu hidup aku ni macam hidup cuma atas surface.
Hidup sekadar hidup saja, bernafas saja saja.
Usually aku akan be in this mode for a long time, then aku akan rasa kena tampaq kat muka dengan kerusi,
then aku jadi baik sat. Aku pun jadi productive macam apa, dan semua benda aku buat, semua orang aku pintas.
Tapi aku akan termula procrastinate balik.
dan jadi macam ni, for another long period again,
sebelum kena tampaq balik.

Cycle. that's why aku envy people who..

.....
(tilam panggil)

Okaylah nak tidur.

(yeah I got a short attention span)
(distracted)
(tilam panggil)

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