3 AM 28 December 2019 Aku pernah ada zaman gelap. Like, semua pernah kan, lol. But masa tu, aku tak tau apa sebenarnya masalah aku. Aku cuma tau, hidup aku macam in a blurred vision, in low dim lights, feeling lonely in a crowd. Kaki rasa berat untuk jalan and always dragged to go anywhere, feeling so hard to get out of bed, prefer only 1 or no company, muka pucat, always wear black cause i don’t want attention, always on my earphones and my songs (my savior), feeling more things deeply, even the tiny ones, suka jalan sendiri and feel every second of it alone, like I'm walking in my own world, plus being heartbroken and longing for a boy yang belum decide anything about everything about him. The most crushed crush i ever had. Hes always unsure. Always null. Always tak ada jawapan. Always blurred vision. Having to study apa yang aku loath to. Dengan mak ayah aku yang tak pernah ada mentally or emotionally. Only financially and physically. No...
Ini sudah lebih . menguap sampai rasa macam nak cabut je rahang letak tepi . damn. mengantuk sangat ni. mengantuk lebih membawa kesan daripada lapar. jadi, selamat malam.
4.30am 1 January 2019 Happy new year 2019 Although things didn’t go as planned for tonight for new year celebration, Yet aku tak rasa .. like aku lose something or rugi or apa apa Unlike when i was 15 or so, always rasa for new year you have to be somewhere cool under the fireworks. Now i just need to be beside someone worthy And we can spend our new years eve doing laundry kat dobi Watching fireworks from afar. Rolled the window down, snapped a few blurry low quality pics of the beautiful fire painting in the sky of 2019 And i do feel old. Nope aku probably have nothing ‘deep’ to write tonight
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