yup

4.30am 1 January 2019 Happy new year 2019 Although things didn’t go as planned for tonight for new year celebration, Yet aku tak rasa .. like aku lose something or rugi or apa apa Unlike when i was 15 or so, always rasa for new year you have to be somewhere cool under the fireworks. Now i just need to be beside someone worthy And we can spend our new years eve doing laundry kat dobi Watching fireworks from afar. Rolled the window down, snapped a few blurry low quality pics of the beautiful fire painting in the sky of 2019 And i do feel old. Nope aku probably have nothing ‘deep’ to write tonight

3 AM  28 December 2019 Aku pernah ada zaman gelap. Like, semua pernah kan, lol. But masa tu, aku tak tau apa sebenarnya masalah aku.  Aku cuma tau, hidup aku macam in a blurred vision, in low dim lights, feeling lonely in a crowd. Kaki rasa berat untuk jalan and always dragged to go anywhere, feeling so hard to get out of bed, prefer only 1 or no company, muka pucat, always wear black cause i don’t want attention, always on my earphones and my songs (my savior), feeling more things deeply, even the tiny ones, suka jalan sendiri and feel every second of it alone,   like I'm walking in my own world, plus being heartbroken and longing for a boy yang belum decide anything about everything about him.  The most crushed crush i ever had. Hes always unsure. Always null. Always tak ada jawapan. Always blurred vision. Having to study apa yang aku loath to. Dengan mak ayah aku yang tak pernah ada mentally or emotionally. Only financially and physically. No...

I remember saying I'll kill anyone who hurt you But I didn't know that I can't protect you ..from me. I am sorry I hurt you so badly

Hari ni aku beli 1 bracelet kat uptown shah alam. Aku panggil candy bracelet sebab warna dia macam candies. Color dia lite, blended warna warni. Dengan memakai bracelet ni, aku harap hidup aku jadi warna warni macam bracelet ni. Aku selalu sangat pakai warna hitam, even masa aku beli bracelet tu td, dari tudung sampai ke selipar semua warna hitam -_- Semoga bracelet ni selalu ingatkan aku yang hidup ialah berwarna warni dan 'lite'. Kerana sekarang aku rasa hidup sangat susah, aku rasa masa depan macam..kabur. Haha. Aku banyak rasa takut dan aku banyak buat salah. Aku banyak ambil dari hidup, tapi tak pernah nak memberi. Aku sedar pilihan makin sikit. Kadang2 tak ada pilihan langsung. Aku kurang bercakap, bila bercakap, complain pula. Asyik menyuruh. Tak pernah memaafkan. Berlembut pun takmau. Aku harap bracelet ni selalu ingatkan aku untuk lebih berlembut. And ingatkan aku yang life is good. Sebab by day aku rasa aku lose more and more pada hidup. 7 Jan 2017 3am

How do I unlove you

They came in flashes The places we went with us in it The things we do Your smile Those endless road at night and the street lights I couldn't stop crying It made me cry It made me lose my mind I lost my freaking mind Only you can fix me Take me I'll do whatever you want me to 6pm 17 Oct

I can't breathe Cant open my eyes I can't stop crying my heart out I wanted to stop the time I wanted to be with you I wish you were here You need to be here 2am 17 Oct